Hanging On In Your Marriage When It Gets Tough

This morning has been an eventful morning to say the least. Several things have reminded me the value of hanging on in your marriage when it gets tough. It’s so worth it to hang on through all of the hard times.

I read a post this morning from another lovely blogger about how she feels the same way I did feel. She felt inadequate to talk about marriage due to the fact that she like me and has gone through a divorce. However, I feel that God is using both of us to speak about marriage because we do KNOW the damage that is caused from divorces and giving up on marriage.

I’m NOT a marriage counselor by any means. Through the years though, I have helped several couples stay together when their marriage has gotten tough because I’ve played mediator for them. Sometimes we all need that in our relationships. If your going to choose someone to do that in your lives, you need to make sure that person genuinely cares about both of you and WANTS to see your marriage survive.

God should always be a part of your marriage. If you follow God, and love like he loves then you will definitely have a marriage built on nothing but a solid foundation. Here’s the kicker, I believe in God! I’m desperately trying to love like he loves. I’m not 100% there by any means. I don’t even think I’m there 50% of the way. Loving the way that God loves us requires so much from us.

I’ve been digging into my Bible with a vengeance trying to get my heart in the right place. I don’t do well with major changes. Since I was a little girl I NEVER have, and that may have a lot to do with the fact that my parents got divorced so many times. Right now, I’ve mentioned that Del is working many long hours. My love for him is being put to the test big time. I’m finding that I’m far more selfish than I should be.

Many couples don’t hang onto to the love that they had for each other when they dated or even during that wonderfully blissful honeymoon stage during the hard times of marriage. We also pull away from each other. We fight to make sure that we get what we want in our lives. Yet…

I’m learning that the real work involved with marriage is : LOVING EACH OTHER.

If we honestly and truly stuck to loving our spouses and even our children, then our marriages would survive the hard times. My own marriage is putting put to the test with this aspect right now. I’m having to love him with every ounce of my being to support his new position.

He’s longed for this job for YEARS!! He finally has it and it’s taking him away from his family. However, it also makes him happy. He’s surrounded by video games.He’s getting to encourage others to get games he loves. He is in his haven. He has ALWAYS supported me do ANYTHING I’ve ever wanted to do. Yet, I’m struggling to do it for him.

That’s a sign, I’m NOT loving him like I should be! I know I love him, but my actions aren’t showing it like it should. I should be encouraging him more. I am already cooking for him when he gets home regardless what time that is. I’m already dropping everything to spend time with him every chance we have.

I told you that I was going to work on complaining about things happening on the home front. I’m doing it rather well in the past week. It has made a difference. It has allowed Del the ability to not be doubly stressed from both home and work.

We can show our love for our spouses through the hard times by doing little things to make their lives better. True love is selfless. True love puts the needs and wants of the other person ahead of our own.

My challenge is for you to truly LOVE your spouse through the hard times. Don’t give up on your marriage through the tough times. I assure you that your marriage will blossom despite the hard times if you put the work into your marriage. It takes two to make it work.

What is your best advice to keep your marriage strong through the tough times?