Despite what the fairy tales say, marriage has never been a happily-ever-after arrangement. A marriage takes patience, work, and continual recommitment to help endure the many challenges you will face throughout your life.
Despite these challenges, many ways exist to help arm yourself and safeguard you and your marriage, even in difficult situations.
Communication
A vital skill in any relationship is communication. To make a marriage last, proper communication is essential. Learning to communicate effectively, without judgment, and kindly can save you from many arguments.
Communicate Your Needs. Often, individuals are angry and upset because of unmet needs and expectations. However, the fault usually lies with the angry individual, who failed to communicate their needs and desires. Despite a significant other knowing their partner very well, they are not a mind reader. You must communicate with your partner if you expect your needs to be fulfilled.
Ask for Help. Communicating your needs and expectations is helpful, but there is more. By asking your significant other to help, you allow them to feel valued and wanted and play the hero in your story.
When you seek help, resist the urge to criticize. Just because your spouse doesn’t do a certain task the way you would, do not make it wrong. Instead, choose to be grateful and voice your gratitude to your partner. This approach increases the likelihood of a more willing and helpful partner in the future.
Be a Good Listener. Every relationship has two partners – your partner also has needs and expectations. It is important to be patient, not judge, and strive to meet their needs. When both partners are engaged in helping each other with reasonable requests and fulfilling their needs, they are active participants in the relationship.
A good marriage partner will take the time to communicate their needs and strive to meet them.
Remember Your Vows
Many traditional marriage vows include the ideas of “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.” Despite these vows, the top 5 reasons individuals get divorced include infidelity, lack of intimacy, communication, money, and addiction. Many of these issues are within your control, temporary, or can be remedied.
When approaching marriage and the commitments you have made, you are in a marathon, not a sprint. Getting over a hill or through a rough patch is simply one part of your life. There will be many more ups and downs along the way.
Although some situations can not be remedied and may warrant a divorce, this should not be your only solution. Before pursuing divorce, an individual should ask themselves certain key questions. These questions include:
“Can I solve the problem another way?”
“Will this solve the problem or create new ones?”
Often, these two questions can better engage your mind for solutions instead of fail-safe measures.
Consulting a professional can be beneficial if you are having difficulty finding solutions together. Marriage counseling can help teach you better communication and problem-solving skills.
Unforeseen Challenges
There will be many unforeseen challenges in your marriage and life that can be difficult to overcome. When you practice the skills of communication, listening, being fully committed to your vows, and working towards solutions, unforeseen challenges will be easier to cope with.
These challenges can include infertility, job loss, challenging children, cancer, sickness, moves, loss, and many other situations resulting in trauma, change, and depression. From an aggressive mesothelioma diagnosis to depression, the loss of a loved one to infertility issues, or even the challenges of raising a special needs child, having the constant support of your partner is essential.
Prioritizing your marriage and the relationship you cultivate will better prepare you for such situations.
Conclusion
Marriage is hard, but life is harder. Finding a partner that is willing to support you through life can help be the balm you need to persevere and find joy and love through the process.
