Prior to moving out of my Mom’s house in Edmonton, I swore I’d NEVER be a housewife. Even though, it secretly was my dream to be a housewife. Only one person truly knew that, and that is my wonderful husband. When we got married, I was the work alcoholic.
Del got tired of me being called away from the family. He couldn’t stand that my district manager wasn’t pulling his weight to ensure that I had a full day off. Plus after working well over 24 hours straight, and coming into the house barely able to walk, my husband handed me the ultimatum of work or him. Of course, you know what I choose.
On most days I don’t regret that decision. However, I worry about my husband being the work alcoholic now! I mentioned in my prior post that it’s hard to compete against his love affair with his job. I know in my heart of hearts that if he had to choose, he’d choose me in a skinny second!!!
However, I also know that this job is one he does enjoy doing. It’s also only going to be temporary me having to deal with the kids and house pretty much 100% by myself. The bad thing is though, there is no back up when the kids misbehave anymore. It feels like the days are extremely long.
Yet, despite all of that, there is a lot of joy in being the housewife. I get to see my kids grow up. I get to be there when they are behaving. I get to ensure they are learning right from wrong from me. These are the skills I want them to have when they grow up and create a new home for themselves.
I know what buttons to push to get them to behave. I know what is going to cause them become so unruly no one can control them. I get to enjoy the little milestones they have.
For example, the other day we were outside playing, and Zeva picked up one of the boys toy guns and aimed for the middle of our driveway. Stood perfectly still, squeezed her eyes shut, and aimed at something in the middle of our driveway, and at the same exact time she pulled the trigger she said, “Bang.” Just as loud and clear as could be. Zeva doesn’t talk so that was such a big deal to me! I told Del about it, and he honestly and truly felt like he had missed out on a big event.
Which even when he was home all the time, he still wasn’t overly involved playing with the kids all the time. However, he was there to hear about things AS they happened. He was there to ensure the kids behaved properly all the time. He was there so the kids could go pop in on him and hang out for a while. He was there to ensure that when I needed to focus on teaching one child something important, I could do it without having to worry about the kid coming back to me so hipper and disrespectful that I have my hands full.
I take for granted now all the things I get to do freely.
I can watch movies, play video games, and read books almost anytime I want. As long as my house is kept in order and presentable, and the kids and Del are fed, and the clothes are done, he’s a happy man.
I’m not saying I have time to do all of those things all the time. I do feel like I’m overloaded with housework, teaching the kids, and working from home at times, but it is ALL things I put on myself willingly. I’m living out my dream because I have a husband who does what it takes to make it happen for me to be able to do it.
I don’t see how woman handle having their spouses overseas, on long business trips, and gone for extended periods of time at all. My hat goes off to them all the time! I am having a hard time with mine working 12-18 hours a day. It’s hard for my mind not to think a whole bunch of negative thoughts. However, I have to have faith and trust until proven otherwise! I know he’s doing it for us, and quite frankly, it’s especially for ME to be able to live my dream.
My dream is really not cleaning a house, but being there for my kids. My kids make my life worth living.
