Lately there has been a lot of stress in our lives. I’m not going to go into the details on here because it’s mostly family drama, and should be kept private. However, it’s been testing Del and I’s relationship. We’ve been snapping at one another without even meaning to do it. Every relationship hits these downward spirals!!! It’s how we get back to the top that sets us apart and it’s the way we build our bond stronger with each trial.
I am eager to see the movie, “The Vow.” I have heard that it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but for someone who is in a relationship that has weathered many changes and many obstacles, it definitely has peeked my interest.
I can remember seeing Del for the first time in almost three years in 2003, and being so unsure how he’d react to seeing me over 100 pounds heavier. I was honestly scared to death that he wouldn’t be interested in me at all. Low and behold his love for me was strong enough to love me for who I am and not what I looked like. He tried to tell me it didn’t matter via the phone, but I didn’t believe him.
I was watching the Bachelor’s Ladies Tell All segment today, and Courtney was getting hit hard by the other ladies there. I do feel that Courtney deserved all that she got. However, I could so relate to her in many ways. At one point I was a totally insecure insane person. I was threatened by ALL woman around me. In turn, I was nasty and mean spirited to them. I do believe Courtney was sincere in her apologies because once a person is able to take a step back and see what they did wrong; they do have the chance to feel remorse. They also have the chance to correct the errors within themselves. A person CAN change if they truly want to. I also noticed that Courtney has a different personality with Ben than she does with the girls.
I, for one, could always relate to guys far better than I could girls. I am still that way to some extent. However, now that I’m not seeking attention from ANY other man except for my husband, I am actually making friendships with other women. I still lack understanding them and truly fitting in on a full scale. However, I’m not a loner like I was before.
I’ve gained lot of confidence over the past couple of years. I realize how much stronger I am as a person. I also see all that I’ve accomplished. I am a woman on a mission to obtain my dreams. I can’t guarantee I’m going to be able to make them happen, but I CAN guarantee I’m going to give it my best shot with each passing day I’m alive.
Things are slowly calming back down. Del and I are gaining our reconnection again. It’s just a part of life that there are going to be times that we feel disconnected. However, I know with all of my heart that I’m in for the long haul with him. He’s being supportive of my desire to return to work. However, I still haven’t heard even a peep about it happening or not. I won’t blame them if they do turn me down, but I am honestly hoping that they don’t.
We have to take the good with the bad in life. We can’t enjoy the rainbow(s) with the storms in life.
Do you hang in there during the hard times or do you run away???
