I have been happily married for a long time now. As my husband and I both age, we notice many changes to our bodies that lead us to make all kinds of comments to the other. At times those comments that are made in a loving joking manner but they still tend to hurt.We know that the other one had no intentions of hurting the other.
The Fluffy Pillow
A prime example is the other day, Del was doing something and for some reason his behind reminded me of a “fluffy pillow.” I told him as such, and we all had a nice family laugh from it. However, it had stuck with him in a very negative manner, and had hurt his self-image. He went so far to record a podcast about “Things Not to Say to Your Spouse” as a result.
After all, my husband could very easily be a Wrangler jeans model. He’d put all of those models to shame with his cute round behind. Even my mom when she was living commented that was one thing that she knew I found very appealing in him. She picked on me for having a love of ‘Mr. Tall Small Cute behind Man.’ So, I know it’s not just me being biased when I say that about his behind.
He is aging well, and I tend to pick on him about having gray hair at the roots of his hair lines. However, one has to strain to see them. Now, Del has decided that as part of his ‘midlife crisis’, as we’re referring to it, that he is going to let his hair grow long. This is the first time I’ve EVER seen Del with this long of hair in all of the 20+ years I’ve known him. It’s driving me batty!!
Midlife Crisis ‘The Fatherly Look’
The thing is his hair is full of cowlicks that go every which way. He reminds me of so many cartoon characters right now it’s not even funny. I’m itching to get the clippers to his head. Yet, I know this is something that he really wants to do. I honestly think he’s doing it to see if I would love him just the same and have complete acceptance of his new look.
Which I do! I still find him attractive as ever even with his hairy self-right now. He hasn’t even shaved his face recently. Now anyone who knows me truly, knows I can’t stand a man who isn’t clean shaven.
The fact of the matter is I love Del completely. I love him whether he has his normal military haircut and is clean shaven or if he has what he calls ‘the fatherly look’ going on. Yes, he’s dubbed his new look as ‘the fatherly look’ because he claims he’s been awake far more than he’s been asleep. He has had the kids up under his feet more than I have. They have worn him down to the point that he doesn’t even have the energy to lift a razor to his face let alone pull out the clippers for his hair.
That statement made me think… does he see me as wearing ‘the motherly’ look too much? Am I running around looking half put together? I definitely have been trying to improve on that matter, but I have to admit my hair never stays in place. I’m lucky if I’m able to keep a pony tail together on top of my head.
Life Changes
I believe that as we get older we are definitely going to be seeing some major body changes. We’ve already seen many of them already. However, when I really stop and look at my husband I still see a handsome man. If anything I think he just looks even better as he grows older. Of course, they say men look better as they age. I never get tired of looking at him. He definitely still gets my engine going.
Do you say things to your spouse about how they are aging in a jokingly manner?
To be honest, I don’t think its an age thing at all. I think its more of a comfort level thing. My husband and I are in our mid-late 20s and we say things to each, jokingly of course, about the way each looks. Its little cute things, but if someone else were to hear they might think we were being mean. Fortunately we both have the same sense of humor, so we rarely get hurt or offended by each other.
You bring up a valid point that it very well may have nothing to do with age. As you get older though, you look at things differently.
I’m glad that you and your spouse have the same type of sense of humor that’s such a great thing to have in common. 😉
We definitely joke about aging with each other, but we both also try to compliment the other person on looking nice! :)-Ashley
I definitely compliment my husband as much as possible too. However, I tend to do more of it behind his back than to his face. I don’t want his head to swell. 😉 (Just joking!)
Aaww. I say stuff like that to my husband too and I don’t mean to hurt his feelings but sometimes I do. Hehehehe, everytime I see the word marriage I hear Captain Jack Sparrow saying mar-ri-age…LOL
I’ve never heard him say marriage before, but I imagine it sounds cute. Glad to know I’m not the only woman alive who says things without intending to hurt, but it happens.
I joke with my husband a lot, but tend to stay away from body image things. I think it’s because since having kids, I am a little self-conscious about things myself, so I don’t want to joke about something that he might be self-conscious about. We’ve been together now for eight years, so maybe this will change in time? Just don’t know.
I think I need to take what you do and not joke about body image at all because I am no where close to confident in my self image.
Good thoughts 🙂 We don’t usually tease each other about these things partially since I am far too sensitive about body image things since I’ve had fibromyalgia since I was a little girl and I hate the physical effects of it. I complain far too much that my hair is falling out and I’m going to go bald and my husband now repeats that he’ll love me anyway (though I think I am looking for reassurance that I won’t go bald, but he can’t give that to me lol!). I appreciate the perspective from him on it, but I’ve realized I need to watch what I say for the sake of the kids and what lessons I might be teaching them! Thanks so much for sharing- I appreciate your thoughts!
Del and I have started not picking on each other as much about our looks. However, there are times it’s just really hard to not do it.
Next week Ron and I will have been married 23 years. Physically things have changed, mostly on my end, I’m 100 lbs heavier than I was when we got married. 🙁 Ron has lost a lot of hair too. We still love and support each other. When your hearts are connected looks are a bonus. We still find each other attractive and we are happy!
That’s awesome to hear. You’re right your spouse is still attractive to you when there is love involved. Looks are truly a bonus.
So sweet! I love my husband so much too and neither one of us look as fit as we did when we got married–and both of us know we need to work on it. My husband probably works on it more than I do. Blogging is so sedintary!
I do find that I do a lot of sitting. However, I have been trying to incorporate getting up every hour for at least 10 minutes and doing something physical. Whether that’s cleaning a part of my house, walking to the gate and back, or dancing to a few of my favorite songs. That tends to help out a good bit.
Thank You for stopping by Inspire Us Tuesdays and leaving some inspiration behind. We would love for you to visit each week and leave some inspiration, find some inspiration, and borrow some of these ideas for yourself for the future. I pinned this!
Thank you for pinning my post. I’m glad you stopped by.
You ladies are all newly weds according to us. We’ve been married 48 years and dated 3 years before that. I LOVE LOVE LOVE writing about keeping love alive through the ages. Now my husband is no push over … he’s head of this house … always has been and always will be – so he sure doesn’t jump every time I say “I want so and so” But we are as thick as mud. We work and play together daily. It’s so easy to get so busy with our chores and things we have to do as homemakers … and not take time for our spouses … but I just don’t allow that to happen. I work on this blog 8 or so hours a day … but when I stop … he has my full attention. I never work evenings for that very reason. Our evenings are priceless to us. And if he’s on a project during MY work hours and needs me, he knows all he has to do is whistle … lol and I’m right there beside him. We watch tv and gab and share things in the evenings that happened in each of our days. My husband has been retired for 12 years … but we live in each others hip pockets to this day … and we always will. I LOVE sharing tips on how to rekindle that spark or keep the love alive. It’s easy when you’re not just in love … but actually LIKE each other TOO 🙂
I’m glad to hear your marriage is so strong and close knit. It warms my heart to hear that. I love talking to couples such as yourself to gain wisdom.
I can say Del and I are very similar in that we make darn certain we have time together and we are still very close together.
Thank you so much for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.