I’m trying to tell you what’s on my mind without giving away too many personal details of our life right now. So, if this blog post seems vague in many ways, please forgive me. I’m not at liberty to share everything right now. When I’m able to, I’ll be shouting it from the roof tops!
However, it did make me think about the fact that many marriages in our world today lack making decisions TOGETHER. I have noticed that many women have literally criticized me to pieces because I let Del have final say on many things in my life. I don’t have to ask for permission to use the restroom, he doesn’t take his control option that far. In fact he very rarely plays his “Man of the House Card.” However, I am a firm believer that in every team there has to be a clear leader too. Too many leaders and it can lead to a team’s destruction.
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I believe that a couple should pray hard about any decisions they are going to make that will be risky adventures. A spouse should never spend large sums of money without consulting the other. I also feel that if there is a major shift in the way a family schedule is handled that the matter should be discussed together. Del and I have lived by these practices and as a result I feel we are stronger for it.
It is always beneficial to never keep anything from your spouse either. It’s refreshing to be open and honest with your spouse at all times. It also keeps the lines of communication going for all topics.
In our society today, there are many ways to earn income. They don’t all have to be outside the home anymore either. Many companies are starting to acknowledge that families long to be an active part of raising their kids. They also see a greater shift in parents wanting to home school their kids too due to how our school systems has taken a major downturn.
Sometimes as a couple you have to make major decisions together that may be like taking a HUGE leap of faith and to the outside world looks like you’re basically putting your head on a chopping block. Yet, you know God is pushing you in this direction. You know he’s going to provide everything you need. You know he’s opened up doors for you and shown you the way. It’s just a matter of taking that big leap of faith and doing it.
For as much faith as I have in God and in Del being the man of the house, I am still leery. Yet, I’m excited. I’m ready. I’m on board with the decision we’ve made as a couple. There is still time for things to go to another direction altogether, but yet I really don’t see it happening. If it doesn’t, then I sense we’ll actually be better off.
Have you ever had to make a decision based off of faith alone and known when you did it that it was going to make your life better? Please share your experiences.
We jumped into foster/adopt with both feet. We had to have faith to do it and we were so lucky that it worked out beautifully for us!
That definitely sounds like quite a big undertaking for sure. That does take a lot of faith for sure.
My husband and I make most of our decisions together. I think it’s great that you do the same in your house!
It makes things a lot better when it’s done this way.
Great post! Sounds like you guys are on your way to something both scary and exciting. Good luck
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. I definitely need all the prayers I can get.
I absolutely believe a healthy, strong marriage has to be a partnership, and that you should never make big decisions without consulting your spouse. And, not all the time will both agree. Sometimes my husband gets what he wants, sometimes I get what I want, but most of the time we agree. Sometimes someone has to compromise. It’s just when one person is the one always making the compromises when it’s wrong.
Isn’t it the truth, that you won’t always agree. There are plenty of times when Del and I don’t agree on something big, but we still go with it. At least since we make the decisions together then we fall together, and we have to rebuild together.
We’ve had to make many faith centered decisions as an engaged couple and after we got married too. I just know this that if God has said, He is Faithful to see us through.
It’s good that you’re making faith filled decisions. It will pay off in the long run for sure.
He is definitely faithful through everything. He will give you everything you need and then some.
Crystal, I feel like making decisions together is a skill that you have to learn. I’ve been with my old man for 7+years, most of those years we were not married but we were living together. I paid half the bills and he paid half. We continued that into our marriage and therefore we generally would make whatever decisions separately. Lately however, we have come together, especially since I stay at home with the kids. Our marriage has definitely become stronger for it too. I feel more connected to him and like we are more of a whole, verses two separate people.
I totally agree with you that making decisions together is a learned skill. I know I still struggle with wanting to be totally independent and make big decisions without discussing them. However, I also know that it would be very damaging to our relationship if I were to do that. So, I hold back.
I tell myself that every time we move that there is a higher power guiding us for whatever reason it might be. We have moved 16 times in 12 years. We once moved to Idaho for a pay cut, but we found a dr that finally helped our daughter’s behavioral issues. We only stayed in the area a year before moving again where we found help for our son that was struggling. There must be a reason and sometimes you only find out years later, but leaping with faith is a good thing.
You are so right that God will show you the reasons for everything he requests of you in his due time. It’s reassuring knowing he has a plan for everything.
I believe that to have a good marriage, you have to work together and that means discussing and making decisions on major issues together. One person shouldnt just decide to do something without consulting the other, especially if the decision will have a major impact on the household. Any purchases over $150, or buying a new car, or how to raise the children, should be discussed. You should be able to decide how to wear your hair or whether or not to have girlfriends over for lunch, though, without a conversation with the spouse.
Definitely good points that a couple should have many freedoms, but yet when it comes to big purchases over $150, should be discussed. It takes two to have a peaceful home.