I was reading a wonderful blog the other day that really gave me the topic for today. She believes that soul mates do not exist. I wanted to go into a long debate with her about why I feel they do exist.
I’ve shared my true love story with you in bits and pieces all throughout my blog. Del and I have endured many different storms throughout our 20 plus long relationship. In a nutshell, we’ve literally married other people, gone back and forth with each other numerous times, and I’ve cheated on him a thousand times. Through all of it, we’ve managed to become nothing but closer. Our hearts yearned for each other when we were apart.
I could literally feel him yearning for me. I could feel the pull for us to be together. I knew I was in the wrong place with the wrong men. He knew he was not with the person he was suppose to be with. We could feel our hearts and souls being tugged to be with each other.
I read a blog post the other day about her version of the Fifty Shades of Gray, and I wish like hang I had saved the link because she wrote about the romance in the story. She talked about what was beyond the gravity sexual pull between the two of them. It reminded me so much of Del and I.
I talk about sex a lot in regards to marriage. I don’t hardly ever talk about how sex use to be something I treated like it was just an act that often. There was a period in my life where every Tom, Dick,and Harry just looked like a wonderful juicy piece of meat that I had to have. If he was sexy and the chemistry was there, I was like a dog and ready to get laid.
However, my sexual pull with Del was different from the start. There was passion, there was a connection the minute I looked in his eyes the very first time, and I was a goner. If it hadn’t been for the drama from my Mom, I’m willing to bank money I would have stayed true to him from the word go and we would have gotten married as soon as I was legally allowed to do it. (I’d also be the mother to seven kids instead of only three and a full blown teacher with my degree completed.)
Del and I were like jack rabbits with each other. We could barely keep our hands off each other. Guess what, to this day we are still that way. If we could be intimate with each other all day long, you can bank it happens. However, we are so much more than just sexual partners.
We can sense what the other is feeling, thinking, and longing for even when we are apart. We are connected in such a manner that when we are apart we’re not fully one. I believe God made each of us for the other. Del and I said vows to each other in the comfort of his home many moons ago long before either of us got married to anyone else. I honestly and truly believe that those simple vows is what helped finalize us becoming one. (Of course, I won’t know that answer and if I’m right in that theory until I pass and meet my maker. However, it does cross my mind all the time.)
Especially since God has told me on more than one occasion that Del is the one for me. He created Del to be my soul mate. He did nothing but open those doors for us to be together. God knows he’s given my husband the heart of gold to forgive me for all of the many of hurtful mistakes I’ve made against him. I praise God everyday that Del is my husband today.
So yes, I firmly believe that God created us to be with one soul mate. I believe if a person becomes a widow at a young age that God will create another one. I don’t believe he creates more than one soul mate for each of us unless one half of the equation passes away. Maybe I’m wrong in my belief of this. However, I stand behind it because of my life romance with Del.
Just for the record, I also do strongly believe that a person should WAIT until they are officially married to have sex with someone. I know I didn’t do that, and I REGRET it far more than I can ever express. I encourage anyone who is a virgin to stay one until they are married because sex after marriage with the right person is truly a remarkable thing. If you don’t have sex prior to marriage there is a lot less heartache involved in a marriage!!
What are your thoughts??
After TWO failed marriages – and a lot of dating before, between, and after – I can tell you that I NOW believe in Soul Mates. Mike and I are unlike any other relationship I have ever had. We are truly best friends. Not just Hallmark Card best friends… TRULY best friends. He is my rock. I miss him like crazy when we are apart. (I used to look forward to my exhusband leaving LOL) And the passion… yeah, we’ve got that too LOL
That is so good to hear. 🙂 May you have a lifetime of happiness ahead too.
I believe in soul mates for sure. I believe my parents are soul mates. However, it takes more than that to make it work. They have been divorced and are back together.
Oh I totally agree, that it takes a whole lot more than just being soul mates to make it work!! Del and I have to work very hard to keep our relationship strong and close.
I absolutely believe that soul mates exist, but I don’t believe they always are meant to be a couple. My friend Chris and I have been connected for the past two decades. We’ve tried dating each other and that just isn’t in the cards for us. We can’t make it work. However, when there’s something wrong with either of us, the other one feels it. I know he’s my soul mate and there’s a connection between us that can’t be broken no matter how horrible we are to each other. I can feel him with me all the time and I can just feel when he needs me. We’re both with other people. We’re both happy with our respective partners. There’s no romantic feelings between us. But the love that we have for each other has only grown over the years and he’s the one person (other than my daughter) that I could never imagine my life without.
That’s an interesting twist to the definition, but I can see it. I tried to be without Del romantically and it just can’t happen worth a dime. If anything were to happen to our marriage now, you can bank I’ll stay single the rest of my life.
I totally believe in soul mates. I think God makes you your perfect match.
I am glad to know I’m not alone with this thought.
Absolutely! I’m married to mine.
That’s so good to hear. It makes a world of difference.
This is interesting. I sometimes think that they do exist and then other times I am not so sure.
I can totally understand the being on the fence with the whole issue too. It’s hard to imagine yourself being connected to another person like that when you haven’t experienced it.
Relationships are definitely hard, and I have to say that I do believe in soul mates, but I don’t think they necessarily have to be in your partner. I think that you can find a soul mate in many different people,many who you aren’t meant to have intimate relationships with. Thanks for sharing!
I find that interesting, but definitely can’t argue against it. I have many friends who are close friends of mine and I am grateful to have them in my life too.
Oh I totally believe in soul mates… it amazes me how often my hubby knows what I am thinking – even before I do, lol.
That part freaks me out a bit with Del. I can be laying in his arms and he can tell me exactly what I was thinking just out of the blue.
My husband said from the first day that he met me that we are soul mates. His mom once said that we met in heaven and said see ya on the other side, because we have the same birthdays. That doesn’t mean this relationship has been easy, but I can’t see myself anywhere else.
My husband’s birthday is the day after mine. That part of your comment really struck me as interesting. 🙂 Gosh knows my relationship is not easy, but the mere thought of being without him is gut wrenching.
I go back and fourth between the idea of soul mates. I still don’t know. I have been with my hubs since I was 19 and that’s just how it’s been. I don’t ever see myself with anyone else, but sometimes we wonder, well what if we didn’t meet bla bla bla… My hubs saved my life (emotionally) and has made me a better person by simply being there. We both were broken and now we have become whole together. I guess he is my soul mate?? 😉
I can understand you being on the fence on the topic. It’s a big debate for many. 🙂 Glad to know your whole together with your husband.
I do believe in soul mates. And I do believe my husband is mine. We met. We broke up. I married someone else.Then divorced. Five years later, we were back together and married. And we’ve been together for 31 years. And there is still passion. He does irritate me. But there is no one I’d rather do things with (most of the time) than him. On the other hand, I do feel that several of the guys I dated back in the 70’s could have made good partners for me. We had lots in common. In more ways than my husband and me. However, the timing was off. I’ve sometimes wondered if a couple of those guys had come into my life at a different point, would I be married to them? Although my husband and I have had some ups and downs, the ups have certainly outweighed the downs and there is no one that I’d rather grow old with. Glad you feel the same way.
I can’t begin to tell you the amount of times Del and I played the yo-yo game with our relationship. I am so utterly glad that we are together now. I’m glad you shared your story with us too. 🙂 Glad you and Nick are together.
Yes, soul mates do exist and I believe. Your story is so real and from the heart, and it is something that I needed to read. Thank you. It is very true, you will yearn for your soul mate when separate. Great life story! I love it.
Thank you for stopping by and reading my life story. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Great post! I think the concept of soul mates is very interesting.-Ashley
Thank you. I love the concept of soul mates, and believe in it big time as you can tell. 🙂
They do exist, I married mine a week after I turned 18 and we are still together 🙂
That’s so sweet to hear. I’m glad to hear you’re still with yours. 😉
Crystal, thanks for the post. I totally agree with you, but my wife has a different idea I thought I’d share. She sort of believes in soulmates, but the idea of having only one soulmate she doesn’t believe. She believes it takes time to create a soulmate and so through time you can have your one and only, but it doesn’t start out that way. It’s an interesting way to look at it.
-Josh
That is definitely a new twist on it, and I can honestly say I can see why she feels that way too. I personally fought Del being my soul mate for many years. Yet, my entire being fought against all of my efforts to be with someone else, and Del and I still remained close friends through all of it. He’s played every role in my life just about, and he’s stuck by my side! Our bond did nothing but get stronger.
So, her viewpoint definitely may hold some merit too. Thanks for giving both sides of the coin. 😉